The Defining loss!!

While I was in the 7th grade I remember my class teacher telling us that school life is like a cocoon. School children are unaware of the real face of life. He said that the world outside this campus would be a totally different one. Nobody cares about anyone else. The only person who is responsible for who you will be is only YOU. There will be very few people who actually care for you and guide you.

I had a family member who was like a shadow not just for me but for my family too, my grand aunt(my grandfather’s sister, I called her aunt itself). My father always tells me about the influence she has had on his life and how she’s made him what he is today. 

When my father was 11 years old he had fractured his leg. In those days people in the rural areas weren’t very familiar with the treatment of fractures. During those days this aunt visited our ancestoral house and learned about this incident. 

Being a nurse she told my grandfather about the treatment of fractures and that this could be cured completely only by proper treatment and not by the traditional methods that lacked scientific logic. Eventually my father’s leg was healed. This incident was indeed life defining because he would be able to walk again.

Later when my father was seeking a job, he was given proper assistance. He stayed at places he never visited before but always there was a strong support behind him in the form of his aunt. It’s always important to have wise and experienced people guiding us. It’s like sitting in a bus which you know is going to take you to the right destination.

I grew up listening to these stories and it was time that even I was touched by this Angel of God. When I was 8 years old she suggested my parents something which changed my life forever. She had come to my house for vacations and on seeing my progress as a child and my restricted progress as an individual, she suggested my parents to send me to a boarding school. I am the only child of my working parents, so I did lack the skill of interaction and this was a decision which made a huge difference.

Initially I studied in a school where I never got the opportunity to discover my potential. I was a child who never believed that I had my own unique talents. I lived in my cocoon without realising that there is a world outside, a world where I need to stand out and be who I am meant to be. 

The school that I was admitted in was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.  A school where I was given the chance to do what I love to do and where I was given the chance to discover myself. I scored lesser marks but I learned to live a life beyond the books.

My aunt had earlier worked in this school as a nurse in the infirmatory (mini hospital for the resident students). I never experienced any difficulty during the 7 years that I spent there. When I was sick, there were people to come and enquire about me. If I had any issues there were people to come to my rescue. All this was possible only because of the influence and approach of my aunt. 

Today I’m writing blogs and standing infront of audiences with confidence because my aunt chose the right place for me to grow. Hadn’t it been for her, I wouldnt have been who I am.

As the law of nature says,” Nothing is permanent!” Years passed by and I entered the most important phase of my life, the stage when I had to choose what I wanted to do in life. On an unfortunate day, I received the news that my aunt was diagnosed with cancer. 

The cancer was diagnosed at the 3rd stage, so there was very narrow chance of a complete recovery. She decided to not take any treatment and decided to spend the remaining span of her life dedicated to prayer.  Her decision was something which required immense courage. Cancer isn’t an ordinary disease, as it progresses the condition of the patient gets really worse. The person can literally see death in front. 

I still remember her last days, even while she was dying she tried to help as many people as possible. People who worked under her were there to offer whatever little help they could offer. There is one incident I would like to share. The maid who was looking after her was really poor and had no money to send her child to school. When we visited her the last time, my aunt asked my father to sponsor the tuition fees of the maid’s son. I have seen people who are sick and nearing their death, but I’ve never seen such people still trying to do what little they can do to make a difference in this world.

Months later she was relieved of her pain and she passed away. The loss was an unbearable one for our entire family. The people who knew her were in tears but I know that she still lives in their hearts. I had never seen my father cry and on her funeral he cried. This was the biggest proof of how big this loss was for us.

Months later I found myself struggling. My academic performance dropped. I started being criticized, I became scared and lost faith in myself. 

I became a walking dreamer. I was doing one thing and thinking of another. I forgot to dream big. I forgot to believe that I was not born to just live life ordinarily but to make myself a somebody. 

In 2013 I applied for the Medical entrance exam and when the result came I succeeded to get a good rank and had the chance to get admission into a government college. However, there were more twists, I was denied admission without a valid reason. I was shattered, I was standing at a dead end, not knowing what to do. I was forced to give up my dream and changed ambitions but my mind was still wandering in the medical profession. 

A year later I got the chance to study abroad, my parents decided to let me chase my dream. This was like a second life for me. A wake up call which inspired me to realise that nothing stays permanent. There are losses which hurt us but we need to outlive the loss. 

Never expect life to come at your door with a bouquet of flowers.

The people who make permanent impact on our lives, they are special but their departure shouldn’t deflate our hope and courage. The best way we can pay respect to them is by living the dreams they saw us in. 

There will be defining losses but remember it is your character amd strength which defines them.

This was my story. There are 9 other stories based on the same theme. Do check them out! 

Here are the links:

Altea Addison

Addison D’marko

Ajibola Sunday 

Barb Caffrey

Ipuna Black 

Jane Love

Nicolle K

Sadaf Siddiqui

Tajwarr Fatma 

Please note: If the links aren’t clickable that means the post isn’t published. Once they are live I’ll update them.